Have you ever lost passion for something? I guess I should ask first if you’ve ever been passionate about something. I guess it’s hard to lose passion if you never had it in the first place. Anyway, as you may or may not know, I was a competitive roller skater. Although I am no longer a competitive skater, I am currently a certified skating coach (who has no students).
Recently, I’ve realized that I don’t like skating very much. I sometimes cringe when I think that I have to go to the rink. At first, I thought that it was just burnout. We were always at the rink, going to a competition, spending our vacation time on skating events. It was as if our whole life revolved around skating, and that was fine…for a while. So, I took a bit of time off.
After a few years of only going to the rink a few times a month, I thought that I’d be ready to get back into it. Curt kept up with it by coaching, and I would still go to competitions with him, including Regionals and Nationals. There were a few times that I thought, “Wow, I miss this.” But the thought would leave as quickly as it came.
Recently, Curt has decided that he wants to skate again. So, he’s been going to the rink on Saturday mornings (which is not normally in our schedule), and I, of course, have been going with him. However, I just can’t seem to get it back. It makes me sad to know that I once loved doing this so much, but now…it’s just not the same. I have so many people encouraging me to come back. I even have some who are challenging me to come back, but I’m still not sure that I want to.
I think much of my problem is that I’ve gained a lot of weight since I quit skating. Because of that, I’ve lost a lot of the skill that I once had. I’m afraid of embarrassing Curt (not to mention myself) by not being able to perform as well as I once did. Second, the sport seems to be dying a slow death. The national governing body doesn’t seem to be doing much to help things out (other than adding new events and sliding scales so that everyone can go to Nationals, if you consider that helping). Finally, I can’t get any students who are interested and willing to work. I can sometimes get them interested, but then they don’t want to stick with it. I end up spending most of my time poking my nose into Curt’s lessons, which makes him crazy, I’m sure.
If there is anything I miss about skating, it is skating with Curt. It was something that the two of us did together. Some couples bowl, some dance; Curt and I skated…and it was fun.
I just wonder if there is any way to get the passion back. I’m going to keep trying; I won’t give up. I just wonder if I will ever have the same passion for it that I did before.
